Love me, but don't hurt me.. Love me for who I am.

Monday, April 20, 2009

~Salsa Salsa Salsa~

By just being YOU.

oh! and did I mention that I've taken up Salsa again?

This time, Homie darling (David), although I can no longer dance with you, but I've kept to my part of the deal and have continued taking up lessons in Melbourne with someone else (Peter) who happened to bear the same interests as we do - dancing. And when I'm done, we shall meet again, on the dance floor, just like before.

Just some basic introduction to my current SEXY weekly routine concurrently~

THE PLACE.

MELBOURNE SALSA - L.A. STYLE

What is Salsa?

Salsa (the dance)

Salsa refers to a fusion of informal dance styles having roots in the Caribbean (especially in Cuba and Puerto Rico), Latin and North America. The dance originated through the mixture of Mambo, Danzn, Guaguanc, Cuban Son, and other typical Cuban dance forms. Salsa is danced to Salsa music. There is a strong African influence in the music as well as the dance.

Salsa is usually a partner dance, although there are recognized solo steps and some forms are danced in groups of couples, with frequent exchanges of partner (Rueda de Casino). Improvisation and social dancing are important elements of Salsa but it appears as a performance dance too.

The name "Salsa" is the Spanish word for sauce, connoting (in American Spanish) a spicy flavor. The Salsa aesthetic is more flirtatious and sensuous than its ancestor, Cuban Son. Salsa also suggests a "mixture" of ingredients, though this meaning is not found in most stories of the term's origin.

Rhythm and steps
Salsa is danced on a core rhythm that lasts for two measures of four beats each. The basic step typically uses three steps each measure. This pattern might be quick-quick-slow, taking two beats to gradually transfer the weight, or quick-quick-quick allowing a tap or other embellishment on the vacant beat. It is conventional in salsa for the two musical measures to be considered as one, so the count goes from 1 to 8 over two musical bars.

Typically the music involves complex African percussion rhythms based around the Son clave or Rumba clave. Music suitable for dancing ranges from slow at about 70 beats per minute to its fastest at around 140 beats per minute though most dancing is done to music somewhere between 80-120 beats per minute.

Use of space
Salsa is a slot or spot dance, i.e. the partners do not need to travel over the dance floor but usually occupy a fixed area of the dance floor, rotating around one another and exchanging places. Traveling is not ruled out but is more used in a staged salsa performance. In a social setting it is bad etiquette to occupy too much floor by traveling.

History
The history of "Salsa" dance is peppered with hearsay and contradiction. Although few would disagree that the music and dance forms originate largely in Cuban Son, most agree that Salsa as we know it today is a North American interpretation of the older forms. New York's Latino community had a vibrant musical and dancing scene throughout the '50s but found limited success with the 'Anglo' mainstream. In the 1970s, adoption of the term "Salsa" reduced the linguistic and cultural barriers to mainstream adoption of Latin music and dance.

The modernization of the Mambo in the 1950s was influential in shaping what would become salsa. There is debate as to whether the dance we call Salsa today originated in Cuba or Puerto Rico. Cuba's influence in North America was diminished after Castro's revolution and the ensuing trade embargo. New York's Latino community was largely Puerto-Rican. Salsa is one of the main dances in both Cuba and Puerto Rico and is known world-wide.

Origin of the salsa steps
The dance steps currently being danced to salsa music come from the son, but were influenced by many other Cuban dances such as Mambo, Cha cha cha, Guaracha, Changu, Palo Monte, Rumba, Abaku, Comparsa and some times even Mozambique. Solo salsa steps are called "Shines", a term taken from Tap dancing. It also integrates swing dances. Salsa can be a heavily improvised dance, taking any form the interpreter wishes. Modern Salsa has elements of Jazz, funk reggae, hip-hop and samba.

Salsa styles
There are many characteristics that may identify a style. There may be different step patterns, different timing of steps, particular movement on the dance floor (ex: slot, circular), dancer preference of turns and moves, attitude, dress code, and others. The presence of one or more of particular elements does not necessarily define a particular style. For example, many styles can be danced "On One" or one style may be danced "On One" or "On Two". The following are the major "recognizable" styles.

Cuban Style
Los Angeles Style
New York Style
Venezolana (Dominicana) Style
Colombian Style
Mambo
Puerto Rican Style
La Rueda
Salsa Disco

...and here are some Salsa tips for those of you who embrace the same passion as I do.

Together is better

The principle aim of all basic step patterns, and all figures, is to allow two people to coordinate their movements to music without any other communication. So long as the people are moving in sync with each other, it doesnt matter on what beat they are dancing, whether the figures are executed according to routines, or anything else.Grace and connectivity are what dancing is about.

Know your role

The aim of the lead in a partnership is to create a frame of movement in which the follow displays their musicality. It is not for leads to detract from the follows efforts by grandstanding or showing off, leaving their partners doing nothing. In the case of less experienced follows, the lead facilitates the movements of the follow by extending their range of movement, teaching the follow to realize their capabilities. When the follower is more experienced, they can take more initiative as distinct from back-leading and provide the leader with more options into which the couple can move.

Less is more

Unless performing, use styling only to accentuate points in the music, not points in a figure. When best executed, these will coincide, but frequently, parts of figures suited for accent do not match the music, so leave the head/arm-flick out until the time is right for it.

Be Happy

No matter what their level of skill, happy, joyful people are much more fun to dance with than over-focused, unhappy or attitude-ridden people. You will have more fun, and so will you partner, if you relax and enjoy the experience, than try to force it to conform to your expectations of what it should be.

Minimize thought

Dancing is more about feeling intuitive, spontaneous response to music than about thought. While learning a figure or working on something in a class, thinking is all to the better understand what you have to do, so you can remember it to practice later but once the foundation is laid, you will enjoy it more if you let it flow than spend all your time trying to remember while dancing (as opposed to practicing dancing). If you think too much, you will forget to breathe, and to enjoy yourself.

Create your own style

Many students/dancers get caught up in trying to copy or become the carbon copy of their instructor. Whilst it's great to be inspired by others and have a mentor, it is more satisfying to know you have created your own style or your way of dancing. To do this, watch others around you. When out social dancing look around at the styling other dancers use, something some one does will catch your eye. Watch salsa videos of congresses from all over the world and then practice, at home in front of a mirror or in your dance studio, with a dance partner. Try new things and keep trying until you think you've got it right, if it doesnt work for you go onto the next thing.
Keep trying until something fits with you and in the process you may come up with our own way of rolling your shoulders or flicking your head. The way you sway your hips or the shimmy or body roll. Trying to fit into someone elses mould may take you years or a lifetime, wouldnt you prefer to dance like YOU for a lifetime.

Practice Patience and Perseverance

Dont expect to be the best Salsa dancer overnight! That just won't happen, for some it takes months and for others years. The way to make it happen for you is to practice at least 3 times a week or more, to be patient with yourself and to persevere even when it gets tough and you think you'll never get it. Try private lessons, as one on one with an instructor can catapult you to becoming a better dancer faster. Also after group classes stay back and dance to the music. Get used to dancing and practicing with out the voice of your instructor. See = live bands as well, feel and hear the music. The more you dance and listen to the music the more you will connect with it and your partner and the better dancer you will become.

that's all for tonight folks! adios amigos! :)

Thinking of him since 11:43 PM

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A whole new World, that's where we'll be.

A thrilling chase, a wonderous place, for You & Me.

*Dusting off the heavy pile of cobwebs on ma blog* (-_-") ENuffffff anottt?

Wahahaha. It's April 2009 already. Feels older, Feeling wiser. Even the wisdom tooth has decided to finally emerge out of my widened gum. How fast time passes so quickly without my permission. One word - sipeh sian.

I know I'm no regular blogger, well but you can't blame it on me cuz I'm no regular girl-next-door! O.K... I'm seriously thinkin' really hard on what to blog about, all because of ahmei's endless rantings... "...clear off the dust on your blog!" "...UPDATE!" "...don't dodge my qns!"

It wasn't really much of a question, sounded more like a demanding statement as a matter-of-fact. boo. Why don't you fly your cutie-pie ass down here & let me blog about something really meaningful - US. If not, don't blame your ahjie for displaying the wrong forms of affection for random people, classified as: others. =(

Everything's been going well. Same old, Same old... Just a slight change in the external environment, something that's more permanent, something more established - a career and.. needless to say, a full-stop to my precious 3 months worth of crazy-asss holidays back in SG during uni end-of-term break! HATE that. hate it hate it hateeeeeee it.

Well, at this point in time, embarking onto a new phase of life, in a whole new world, I'm glad the Angel of my life - my babesis, Nicole has flew her ass all the way from Brisbane with ALL her "thingamagics" (huge amounts of luggage and loose baggage...) here, just to be with me. To work, to live and to carve out our like-minded careers for both of us, together. Babesis, this has been deeply engraved into my heart & you be ascertained that our dreams will definitely be fulfilled with time.

It also has been a pretty long time since I've seen my lil brother. Seems like he's growing well, more mature, more handsome, taller - I hope NOT.

Girlfriend? I've yet to SEE in PERSON. - coming soon to Melbourne with him for my birthday on the 10th of July 2009 ~ which makes me wonder who ELSE would be coming too.

I definitely miss everyone back in SG very very much too. Namely, my long-lost bestie gf Jeannette, Papa Josh, Pimp Daddy Wilson, Ashley, Leslie, Thian, Eve Pek and the names just go on and on and on... not forgetting the one in perth, Jess Jess, whom my bf would be joining soon in May. As for the Brisbanians, namely Ben, Big John, Faith & Mish, Andrew pig-ass, my daughter Joy, my good ol' homie David, Nick and the rest... you guys better find a way to drive down or plan a holiday together during winter! Melbourne is THE PLACE TO BE. Its on all the Victorian car plates man!

In the meantime, I do hope my bf would do well for his flying career in the upcoming relocation to Perth. I wish for my ahmei and meifu (ahmei's bf) to come be with me this JULY 2009. Gosh....I'm sick of blogging and I don't wanna be doin' this anytime soon againnnnn cuz' its just racking my brains when its actually my day-OFF.

and....

oh! do come to GUCCI to visit anytime soon.

SALE would be taking place in MID-year June-July. If not, it's "Going, going, goneeeeee!"

Champagne & GUCCI finger-food & chocs would be given out upon arrival.

VIP invitations for first previews of all newly displayed sale items & ready-to-wear.

~ as the saying goes, the early bird catches the early worm!

Thinking of him since 3:53 AM

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Plain simple but catchy word - Love.

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me.

Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

Too many people have always asked me,
"Will a long distance love relationship work?"

Well, this is really hard to be saying. But if I am going to be saying no, I guess a lot of you probably won’t like it. The best answer that I can give to you would be, it depends. Yes, it depends. It depends not only on you alone but also your partner too. This is surely to be expected. A relationship is afterall a two-way communication and not just about you.

If given a choice, it would be advisable not to get yourself into any long distance relationship. But then again, sometimes we just don’t have the choice. And well, when don’t have a choice, we just have to make it work. So, what would be that key to maintaining a successful long distance love relationship? My answer for you? Well, it is still going to be that same old answer which you probably have like heard over and over again, “Mutual Trust and Commitment”. Ha, sick of hearing it again? But well, have you been truly spending that time and effort of yours in giving and ensuring of that trust and commitment in your relationship?

In any love relationship, mutual trust is certainly a must and it especially applies when involving long distance relationship. When the both are not able to physically be there for one another, that belief and trust has to be there. The both must have strong belief in the relationship, believing in not only their partner but also themselves. To maybe put it in a more blunt way, you must believe that your partner, your very love will be faithful to you…. But then, trust is afterall just still a non-passive belief. Actions still always speak louder than to words. To truly support this trust you have promised, there has to be that presence of some actions of assurance. Now, this is where Commitment comes in. So, what are the commitments you should be giving? To just sum them up, they are namely Time, Quality Communication and nevertheless the most important of all, Plans.

Very often when the both are not together for a while, it is inevitable that that flame of love between the both would in some way fade off. Laziness might nevertheless sometimes take over oneself too, resulting in one not making enough of an effort to sustaining the relationship… Now, not matter how tired or busy you are, you have to commit and allocate your time accordingly to make sure that communication between the both is always there and that they are of quality communication. Though you may not be able to physically be there, your voice of care and concern can always make a difference. You have to let your loved one know that you are and have always been there for him or her… Technology today has certainly helped to make communication for the both so much more convenient and affordable. Make good use of it. At least a sincere email from you every once in awhile is a must I would say. It is a good way of sharing and updating each other on the daily’s events; what is going on and nevertheless letting that love of yours know that someone is remembering and always thinking of him or her. An email would always imply that you are waiting for his or her reply and vice versa, keeping the response ever going. Phone conversation would be nice too. Do make it an effort to call him or her and have a nice chat once in while or perhaps maybe even twice or more each week. Making an international call is certainly very affordable these days...

Likewise, there are also many free online messengers services available on the net (MSN/yahoo msn/Skype) where you guys can use to converse in real-time through text messages, webcamming or even both at the same time. And together with these messages, you can actually be sending along with them some very interesting animated icons too. They can certainly help to better express your feelings and emotions, making the conversation just more fun and interesting. Webcam conversation is nevertheless supported by most of these messengers’ services too. Now that a real physical date is not possible, a phone or online date will definitely be nice. They can certainly be very encouraging in helping to maintain the relationship. Do always make that time for your love, keeping that quality of communication between the both just ever ongoing. And not to be forgetting the conventional way, send him or her some letters of your very own personal handwriting. Surprise him or her with some "I miss you dearest" or motivational cards once in a while, especially when during special occasions like birthday, Valentines’ Day, Anniversary and etc. A handwritten card would definitely bring about more sincerity than to E-cards.

But then again, all these are definitely still not enough. There have to be just more of some undeniably genuine and truthful actions to guarantee that very promise of love between the both of you and this is where some Real Plans must come into the picture. Where would the relationship eventually lead? Now, I am sure that at the end of the day, you will want to be with your love; wanting to be able to spend and be sharing that very time and life of yours with him or her, isn’t it? The most important key to the success of this relationship would ultimately be, to clearly know where the whole relationship would eventually lead. Surely you would want to know that all these tough time that you are going through is afterall just temporary and that you both will eventually be together? You guys definitely have to be thinking far and make some serious plans for the future together. And these plans must conclude and promise one another that at the end of the day, the both of you will be together. With a common goal and a strong belief in one another, things can definitely work out. Anyway, to be talking about making of plans, I do have one advice for you. Don’t be over ambitious… it is good to think far but do note; having of some short-term plans or goals is equally as important too. And just what best short-term goals can there be? Well, that has just got to be, making sure that you both will physically meet up with one another every here and there as much as possible. Perhaps twice each year at the very least, meeting up with one another every 6 months? You definitely have to allow the relationship the chance to be “recharged”. In life, everyone would be in a way having some aspiration and dreams, which they look forward to and this, just always helps to push them on… Similarly here in a long distance relationship, having of some date to be looking forward to can greatly help to support the relationship, giving to the both of you the strength to carry on. I am sure that you would be more than just thrilled by the thought of able to be meeting up with your loved one soon?

Now to be answering your question again, will a long distance love relationship work? Yes it can, it just depends on whether you want it to. From short-term goals to eventually reaching that ultimate goal of being together? Well, if the both of you have strong belief in one another and are willing to work towards things together, I am sure you guys can make it.

Don’t give up without even trying. Fulfill that very promise of love made between the both of you. Don’t disappoint your love… or you can start picking up the broken pieces of your love life.

...and by the way, "Happy one year's anniversary darling... & A toast to the beauty of how our friendship flourished to love".

warmest regards,
Me. speaking from experience...perhaps even better in time.

Thinking of him since 9:46 PM

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Monday, October 20, 2008

"Bonjour Madame moiselle, our Gucci new cruise collection for 2009 has arrived".

Fall winter 2008 is ending...

A big welcome to our cruise collection 2009.

Warmest regards,

Mellissa Yong

Thinking of him since 8:35 PM

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

It's all for the better...you'll see.

I guess today X marks the spot in the kaleidoscope.

Thank you

...for the early christmas card, it came with a bucket of honey.

...for the bubble teas.

...for the ears when I needed it.

...for the times we spent racing on the roads together.

...for the moments that made my eyes light up with fire.

and most importantly, thank you for seeing me through.

The things I've said to you, the lessons I've taught you about life and how it works at your level, or even mine, I hope it all went through. You know what I'm talking about so I don't see a need to enunciate more.

I've never been this close to anyone or anything.
I'm amazed by the things that you do, this feeling inside me is almost more than I can take.

Sometimes in life, we can never find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I hope you'll find yours when the time is ripe for you someday. You just gotta keep trying.

Always remember that grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. Sadly, that person cannot be yours truly.
~ I have my commitments and so will you...

I hope one day, someone else would hold your hand when your own wave threatens...
Sorry I couldn't be the one.
For now, I'm happy with the way things are in life for me.
...and you've already started on your next journey I see. You're doing well pretty fast this time.

Hmmm...why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard.. =)

"My blessings to you, your other half, your sister and family. always."

"Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect, just be an excellent example of being human."

***Alright, some corrections to the above statements. You have not found the other half yet - as clarified by the person I'm talking about in this post. However, problem(s) are still not rectified...***

Thinking of him since 10:25 PM

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Monday, August 11, 2008

The time has come to mark the story with a big fullstop. or rather, because I'm so sick of this.

Everybody out there, all you faithful readers, friends & weird people I don't even know of...Well, listen up.

This story was hell. Everything was a huge mistake to begin with. I don't wanna mention anymore names or whatsoever anymore. I'm over it. Or rather, I'm not over it, but I'm ending it here cos' I don't wan't "irrelevant people" engaging into my problems & meddling with my life, causing my loss of sleep & giving me additional work to do by explaining when I don't owe anyone a need to. So let's all get our lives back together. For those of you who like to get involved in other people's affairs, go get a life or a job if you're too free. If I were you, I'd be happy not to even bother about such mediocre affairs.

Let's not allow this issue bring us down but let it serve as another bad experience to learn from and move on with life. What's life all about without some hiccups along the way anyway?

So... from today onwards, I'm letting it go and I trust that those who are involved would as well. I shall walk my path with my friends from now and so shall she with hers. I'm sure you read my blog girl, so don't ever try anything with me. I mean it & you know I do.

So let bygones be bygones & celebrate to a fresh new start of our lives with whoever it is, whatever it is about and at wherever we are. I always believe that the time is always right to do what is right. Therefore, we can never plan the future by the past.

The whole point of trying to get things done is to actually know what to leave undone. I'm leaving the matter to whatever state it is at right now.

Winners make things happen, Losers let things happen! :D

AND one more thing, if there are friends who truly knows both of us well enough out there & you know the current situation that we're in, if you do have your share of views, please feel free to state who you are & what you think regarding this issue. If you prefer confidentiality, feel free to PM me. I can be trusted. Thank you for all those who care. =) fair judgement can always be made here.

Thinking of him since 2:54 AM

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Friday, August 08, 2008

the biggest mistake led to your dream come true.

i'm glad to have fulfilled my 'job' to you as your jie for bringing u to the place which took me a tiring 6 hr experience drive alone, to achieve one reason - to make u happy.

i'm glad to have been the one putting the first smile on your face, ever since the day you left brisbane, cos' that was the last smile i saw till the day you left melbourne.

i thanked God that we arrived there safe & sound. a risky accomplishment for me, an attraction to show off to your friends, for you.

i'm glad to have been the photographer for the day, taking priceless pictures of you. Just to see you happy just for even 1 day, you know i did it just for you & you alone, in exclusion of all others.

but i'm heartbroken to say that, this shall be the last time you kiss xiaohei.

cos' it's time for me to say goodbye.

I never knew the day had to come when I would have to post the first post about you in my outdated blog, yet being the worst one of all. Well, it shall be the last.

From the first time that I met you till today, I knew how you were like as a person instantaneously. But I still chose to try to change you into a better person, a more mature person, a more independent person, more intellectual in terms of actions & thinking capacity and more of a woman, than a little girl. I believed in you. I had hopes for you. I trusted in you. You knew I did all along. Then, the time came when I made the wrong move.

To bring you to Brisbane with me, to meet my growing circle of university friends who I hoped, with more social conversations would, enlighten that brain of yours, eventually.
I realised that I was wrong. so so wrong.

To cut the long, no sorry let me correct that, to cut the neverending story short, I wasted 1.5 years of You & Eric's never-to-be one-way love story, You & David's 0.5 years impossible one-way love story & now, you're telling me you wanna get start an unnecessary love story by getting yourself involved with Josh, the all-time famous one who is a confused individual himself? (sorry josh, being very tactful already.) MOREover, you know that you'll go back to Mr ASSHOLE Eric Low when he decides to have more fun with you again.

To Josh: if you wanna carry on not listening to me beforehand, these are the consequences you'll have to bear on your shoulders for a long long time.
1) why the hell you chose not to listen time and time again (the land before time when Josh & Jess were an item and our friendships were put on the stake, do you remember that? Yes, I believe you will for the rest of your life.)
2) Now AGAIN JOSH, your biggest flaw josh, was to carry out the same old bad habits in you unto others. (I do not need to elaborate on that I suppose?) The Law says, if you do not provoke someone, the other party will not reciprocate by offending you. So if both of you end up in court, the ultimate criminal would be you, because you lifted the first finger. You caused this to happen. The same applies in this situation. If you didn't try to create "sparks" between you and my little girl, would she have confused it for a replacement of lost love subconsciously? Now again Josh, I have to end and destroy this precious relationship that I have with my loved one, with my own hands, because of you. Do things never, ever think THRICE. Twice is not enough for you. How many more relationships do you want to destroy for me? Isn't it enough ruining it for yourself? If you're not sick of it Josh, I am telling you now that I AM VERY SICK OF IT.

To the little girl: I heard that you are blaming me for something that I'm not even aware of.
This is the biggest joke that I've ever heard in my life.
Ahhh.. I get it. It's probably for not letting you & josh's love story happen.

Are you kidding me or have you mistaken the blame & anger you've unleashed onto me, for yourself? We do not need to know the answer because we are smarter than a sixth grader.

...
Firstly, don't ever dare tell me you did not lie to me when you went arnd telling people (I would not mention who) that you were in a relationship with Josh when you were only dating. This has been confirmed by Josh. So I am not the FIRST to know, yes? So don't tell me you didn't LIE understand? Manipulation is ur forte huh? it was demonstrated very well by your actions. no further explanation needed. =) You should take up 'Bachelor of Manipulation' if you can.

...

It's funny how you can badmouth about Josh to all my friends about him, ask my friends all about his relevant information & broadcast to them AND ME, how it's impossiblely atrociously ridiculous for you to be with Josh. My toes are laughing. Are yours too? And, your "dream". Yes, I remember the night before you let me in on the atrociously ridiculous truth, you told me that you dreamt that you and josh went on a holiday and I couldn't find you online for days so I decided to call you up and check on you. To my horror, you were with josh and I flew back to Singapore first thing (which in real life, I'm not as dumb to do) to sever all ties with you. Isn't this a dream come true for you? Or rather, was this "dream" just a test to see how my reaction would be like anticipating what the future beholds for you. You told me that I meant alot to you and that you couldn't afford to lose me. Obviously, time does tell. And, time has spat at me in the face, telling me that, I am obviously not as important to you as compared to the men in your life. Well done. Like I said and I'm not afraid to say this again, this relationship would not work if Josh is going to try something funny along the way, and if you are going back to Mr Asshole Eric if he decides to have more fun with you again in 3-6 months time, AND if your heart obviously still belongs to other men. Subconsciously, if you still do not realise, you are using josh to replace the lost feeling you have inside you & I think that this is very unfair both for him & yourself. You are in the loop, you can't see it the way we ALL do. Why do you have to chose men who either do not love you, or those who are not for you? You talk about feelings? What feelings are you talking about? When you, yourself is unsure about the whole love dating game. You are still very VERY immature & childish in terms of not only thinking, but thru' the way you speak, your actions AND most importantly, in relationships.

Another thing is, hasn't Jess become your good friend? Didn't you go on a getaway trip with her? Haven't you both developed a closer relationship ever since? You of all people, know of Jess & Josh's history. YET, you can still have the cheek to get involved with a good friend's ex boyfriend? You know everything bad about Josh & his bad history, You've passed your fair share of bad comments about him & its miraculous how on earth you could end up falling for him yourself. It's amazing how you can portray how you hate him so much infront of others & yet have the intention to get romantically involved with him. What the hell is this??? Are you a schizophrenic or are u just trying to fit in too hard with the group? And yes, people can tell. You jolly well should at least have the common sense to know the basics of human moralities. I trust that you were not born of immaculate conception, therefore you should be human enough to understand how to be a proper human being. Know what's morally right or wrong to do for God's sake! I guess it doesn't bother you as well as long as what makes you happy is all that matters. All living other is irrelevant. dio boh?

"Self-reflection is much needed."

For my dearest friends, I know you all agree with me because I've received the same feedback from every single one of you. Thank you for letting me know that I'm in the right state of mind by saying & doing this. Thank you all for giving me the face by befriending her and for putting up with her on my account all this while. I know she has been stepping on all your nerves in regards to her "how I miss Eric stories" & "how I kissed David & his cheeks are so soft stories". Please forgive her immatureness giving consideration to her level of intellectual capacity & extremely amazing long-winded-nism. As much as you all have gone through this many times, imagine how many times I have had to listen to the same old stories each & every time she meets any of you or someone new? Countless. From today onwards, you have to put up with her no more. I'm holding up the BIG white flag. I'm getting too old for these kinda things. As I age, I mature, I grow. I make mistakes, I learn & repent. I don't bring myself down, make myself miserable & depress myself & irritate the ppl around me with my never-to-be fairytale love stories.

You tell me lah? Which guy in the right state of mind would regret not being with you? Given your current mentality & childish actions, if I'm that guy, I'll probably be scared of you, run away, or even play with you if I'm an asshole. I am so glad my Homie David wasn't an asshole to play you out and was kind enough to reject you tactfully and also, not leading you on by bridging a distance from you. Thanks for going through all you did on account of me Homz. I'm sorry to have made you dance with her, let her get upclose with you & do all the other things that she requested for that I won't mention. Back to what I was saying, all this would just ascertain me even more that I made the right decision in not being with you if I was a guy. A good phrase to describe this scenario would be, "heng ah... if be with her I jialat liao". You told me that how you wished that Eric would be like Andrew and regret not cherishing me when he had me. I would not elaborate on this as he has finally realised his mistakes. If you can move on, lead a better life even without him and show him that life is still beautiful even without him, if you can self-improve and be a better person, not for him but for yourself, you probably would see Mr Asshole Eric crawling back to you by now. What have you shown him? Nuff' said.

PLEASE stop going around to all my brisbane mates telling them how miserable you are, or try to extort irrelevant information from them regarding someone else, or rant the whole day about YOU, YOURSELF AND YOU when the day is supposed to be spent with them. Your msn nick says, "the world doesnt revolve around you and you only." PLEASE, for goodness sake, take back your own words and eat it up. Cos' whenever you go out with my friends, when people talk about themselves or about anything other than you, your mind tends to wonder somewhere to neverneverland and it's so obvious to them that you're disinterested in whatever that they're saying, however, you expect everyone's attention when it comes to talking about you and your all-time favourite neverending never-to-be same OLD love stories. Everyone has to listen to you, hear you out, comfort you even though they know so well that no matter how much they say, it'd never gonna get into you and it's a bloody waste of their time.

By the way, when I dare to say this out, it means I've got hard facts to back me up.

BECAUSE OF YOU. I WAS WORRIED, I MSNED YOU, YOU WENT OFFLINE.
I CALLED YOU THREE BLOODY F-ING TIMES, YOU HUNG UP ON ME THREE BLOODY TIMES. WELL DONE, SERIOUSLY. I SALUTE TO YOU. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I NEVER HANG UP ON THE PEOPLE I LOVE. ESP THOSE WHO CARE FOR ME MOST. I DIDNT LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE TOLD ME TO GIVE UP ON YOU, NOW LISTEN UP CAREFULLY. IT WAS NOT ME WHO GAVE UP ON YOU, YOU GAVE UP ON YOURSELF AND YOU IGNORED A HAND WHO WAS TRYING TO REACH TO YOU WHEN YOUR OWN WAVE THREATENED.

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELPS THEMSELVES.

A few last words for you before I pen off.
adapted from the reality of you.

Please remember that Love is not to be used as a substitute for human companionship.

Absence will make your loved one appreciate you even more.

A woman how pretty, without character is nothing but empty.

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore, and who always will. So why worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future!

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

We make our own fortunes, yet we say it's fate. Therefore, it is during your darkest moments that you must focus to see the light. Life is a succession of moments, To live each one is to succeed. The time is always right to do what is right. You can never plan the future by the past.

Lastly, for me and you.
never take someone for granted cos you'll wake up one day & realise you've lost a diamond while collecting stones.

-=-

I'm sorry I can protect you no more. You're on your own now. Its a deep stab into my heart. So deep, that it seems like I can actually feel the pain within me, in heart, mind, body & soul. But I've said what I've got to say. You've done more than enough to hurt me and it could never get any worser than this. If you still don't know what you did wrong and you're angry at me for saying all this, by all means go ahead. Cos' if you think this way, then you need to get to know me better. I want you to lift your pillow up high & sleep on it. Think carefully before you speak. If not, forever hold your peace...

...

Last but not least... I wanna sincerely thank you for caring for me all this while, for being there for me when I needed you, being there for my graduation (which was the most impt day in my life for impt ppl such as my dearest lil one to be there), for walking thru these many years with me, thru' good times & bad.

-=-

Most importantly of all, Thank you, for loving me.

I loved you too.

Thinking of him since 1:13 AM

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Sunday, July 06, 2008

There are no mistakes in life, only lessons.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is no end.

Just got back from my New Zealand trip (24th June - 2nd July 2008) with my groupies.

Ma homie David, Amy baby, Lam lam & sweet Jacqueline.

-=-

Skiing at Coronet Peak Mountain

Chilling after our 'near-death car slide' down the snow

Snowboarding at Coronet Peak mountain

More snowboarding

At the Glacier

Freaking ex trekking

Welcome to the Hood

Horse riding to see 'Lord of the Rings' scenics

Hello Mr Snowman

All in one piece back in Brisbane at the good ol' Starbucks.

Well if there was 3 words that I could use to describe that graduation trip of mine, it would definitely be, Eventful, fun & priceless experiences everyday. ha!

All in all.. I'm thankful that everyone came back to Brisbane all in one piece. Thank you Jesus.

Today is the 6th of July, my younger brother's 18th birthday. Happy Happy birthday brother! Today is the day you become a youth and also the day you grow a year older, a year wiser. You're going into the army on the 9th of July, one day before my birthday. I'm so gonna miss you. Please take care of yourself for me kay? Can't wait to see you again. Love, Jie Jie.

Is this a depressing feeling I'm getting from being a pre-graduant? I feel kinda lost. Now I finally understand when they all say that you feel half-happy for your graduation and the other half depressed cos you're going to be taking the next step into working life, where the battle & challenge begins. I'm starting to miss studying already.

Ma bestie girlfriend is driving up her way to Melbourne with her friends and mum as I am typing this out. Apparently, I just found out that she's going to miss the last birthday she can spend with me before we part after graduation. This just made me feel wayyyyy "better"...

Guess it's gonna be a lonely birthday this year. First time in the coming 23 years of my life.

Anyways... this is what I have to say after so much that has happened.

You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret.

Shake off the "why's" and the "what if's" and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever was - is in the past. Whatever is? That’s what's important. The past is a brief reflection, and the future is yet to be realized.

And yes honey, I didn't forget about you. I do love you.

Thinking of him since 2:37 AM

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