Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Plain simple but catchy word - Love.

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me.

Love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

Too many people have always asked me,
"Will a long distance love relationship work?"

Well, this is really hard to be saying. But if I am going to be saying no, I guess a lot of you probably won’t like it. The best answer that I can give to you would be, it depends. Yes, it depends. It depends not only on you alone but also your partner too. This is surely to be expected. A relationship is afterall a two-way communication and not just about you.

If given a choice, it would be advisable not to get yourself into any long distance relationship. But then again, sometimes we just don’t have the choice. And well, when don’t have a choice, we just have to make it work. So, what would be that key to maintaining a successful long distance love relationship? My answer for you? Well, it is still going to be that same old answer which you probably have like heard over and over again, “Mutual Trust and Commitment”. Ha, sick of hearing it again? But well, have you been truly spending that time and effort of yours in giving and ensuring of that trust and commitment in your relationship?

In any love relationship, mutual trust is certainly a must and it especially applies when involving long distance relationship. When the both are not able to physically be there for one another, that belief and trust has to be there. The both must have strong belief in the relationship, believing in not only their partner but also themselves. To maybe put it in a more blunt way, you must believe that your partner, your very love will be faithful to you…. But then, trust is afterall just still a non-passive belief. Actions still always speak louder than to words. To truly support this trust you have promised, there has to be that presence of some actions of assurance. Now, this is where Commitment comes in. So, what are the commitments you should be giving? To just sum them up, they are namely Time, Quality Communication and nevertheless the most important of all, Plans.

Very often when the both are not together for a while, it is inevitable that that flame of love between the both would in some way fade off. Laziness might nevertheless sometimes take over oneself too, resulting in one not making enough of an effort to sustaining the relationship… Now, not matter how tired or busy you are, you have to commit and allocate your time accordingly to make sure that communication between the both is always there and that they are of quality communication. Though you may not be able to physically be there, your voice of care and concern can always make a difference. You have to let your loved one know that you are and have always been there for him or her… Technology today has certainly helped to make communication for the both so much more convenient and affordable. Make good use of it. At least a sincere email from you every once in awhile is a must I would say. It is a good way of sharing and updating each other on the daily’s events; what is going on and nevertheless letting that love of yours know that someone is remembering and always thinking of him or her. An email would always imply that you are waiting for his or her reply and vice versa, keeping the response ever going. Phone conversation would be nice too. Do make it an effort to call him or her and have a nice chat once in while or perhaps maybe even twice or more each week. Making an international call is certainly very affordable these days...

Likewise, there are also many free online messengers services available on the net (MSN/yahoo msn/Skype) where you guys can use to converse in real-time through text messages, webcamming or even both at the same time. And together with these messages, you can actually be sending along with them some very interesting animated icons too. They can certainly help to better express your feelings and emotions, making the conversation just more fun and interesting. Webcam conversation is nevertheless supported by most of these messengers’ services too. Now that a real physical date is not possible, a phone or online date will definitely be nice. They can certainly be very encouraging in helping to maintain the relationship. Do always make that time for your love, keeping that quality of communication between the both just ever ongoing. And not to be forgetting the conventional way, send him or her some letters of your very own personal handwriting. Surprise him or her with some "I miss you dearest" or motivational cards once in a while, especially when during special occasions like birthday, Valentines’ Day, Anniversary and etc. A handwritten card would definitely bring about more sincerity than to E-cards.

But then again, all these are definitely still not enough. There have to be just more of some undeniably genuine and truthful actions to guarantee that very promise of love between the both of you and this is where some Real Plans must come into the picture. Where would the relationship eventually lead? Now, I am sure that at the end of the day, you will want to be with your love; wanting to be able to spend and be sharing that very time and life of yours with him or her, isn’t it? The most important key to the success of this relationship would ultimately be, to clearly know where the whole relationship would eventually lead. Surely you would want to know that all these tough time that you are going through is afterall just temporary and that you both will eventually be together? You guys definitely have to be thinking far and make some serious plans for the future together. And these plans must conclude and promise one another that at the end of the day, the both of you will be together. With a common goal and a strong belief in one another, things can definitely work out. Anyway, to be talking about making of plans, I do have one advice for you. Don’t be over ambitious… it is good to think far but do note; having of some short-term plans or goals is equally as important too. And just what best short-term goals can there be? Well, that has just got to be, making sure that you both will physically meet up with one another every here and there as much as possible. Perhaps twice each year at the very least, meeting up with one another every 6 months? You definitely have to allow the relationship the chance to be “recharged”. In life, everyone would be in a way having some aspiration and dreams, which they look forward to and this, just always helps to push them on… Similarly here in a long distance relationship, having of some date to be looking forward to can greatly help to support the relationship, giving to the both of you the strength to carry on. I am sure that you would be more than just thrilled by the thought of able to be meeting up with your loved one soon?

Now to be answering your question again, will a long distance love relationship work? Yes it can, it just depends on whether you want it to. From short-term goals to eventually reaching that ultimate goal of being together? Well, if the both of you have strong belief in one another and are willing to work towards things together, I am sure you guys can make it.

Don’t give up without even trying. Fulfill that very promise of love made between the both of you. Don’t disappoint your love… or you can start picking up the broken pieces of your love life.

...and by the way, "Happy one year's anniversary darling... & A toast to the beauty of how our friendship flourished to love".

warmest regards,
Me. speaking from experience...perhaps even better in time.

Thinking of him since 9:46 PM

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