Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I'm changing... changing to become a confused individual.

Last night, someone told me that he loved me. All the way from Singapore.

Yes, I have rejected two men when I was still with my loved one.

But it's been so long since someone said that he loved me.
Today, he said it once more.
Strange, but why dont I feel anything? Is it because I still havent let go of my past?
Or is it something or someone else...?
He wants me to give him a chance to go after me, to care for me, to love me, to protect me and promises to give me happiness. But I just cant make a decision at the moment.
Thus, I just told him to give me some time to sort out the broken pieces of my life...

I guess time would tell. or would it?

-----

Now, after talking on the phone to a new best friend of mine, I felt much better with all the troubles & worries going on in my head. I seem to be able to talk to her about everything...
My love life, to uni life, to schoolbooks, to friendships, gossips & even our new past-time - clubbing & drinking. lol. She's been the light of my life ever since the first time I saw her. Someone who can listen to me, let me confide in her, someone for me to laugh with, cry with and hug to sleep at night... But what are these 'other feelings' of mine for her that I cannot describe? Is it something more than just a friend... or is it something less... I miss her all the time. Think of her everywhere I go, wanna meet her after classes & am willing to wait for her to finish her classes even after I'm done with mine. Why? Just so that I could walk home with her after her classes! Sounds familiar? Yup... it was something I used to do for HIM when me and HIM were still dating last year. Now, during the night, when we go back to our own homes, I still miss her as much too... even though she's just a few houses away. I smile whenever I see her, laugh at every one of her jokes & enjoys her companionship whenever, whereever... But tonight, somehow, I felt hurt when she told me she'll choose someone else if she were a 'guy'. Is this normal or is it just me. She told me that tonight, I sounded different... in the good sense, especially when I spoke chinese to her. But deep down on the inside, its still me.

Remember me this way ok?

I'll cherish the moments we spent together...

Just wanna say, "you looked wonderful that night".

By the way, if anyone is to misunderstand our love we have for each other, its not what you're thinking ok. Its purely a very close friend kind of love. Something which even I cant articulate in words.

The day we saw each other, it seemed that we've known each other for a hundred years. That's all I can say.

I still miss you right at this moment... today, tomorrow & always.

Thinking of him since 5:25 AM

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